My Human Credential
by MiaSanada
Summary: Christmas story, B/V back by popular demand R/R


My Human Credential  
By MiaSanada  
Disclaimer: No I don't own them. If I did I would be rich. By the way the title comes from a interview with David Duchovney about Mulder's relationship with Scully. I thought it fit here too.   
Let me start by saying that I don't care about this damned planet. The only thing I've ever cared about is fighting and becoming the best. But I'm stuck here on this baka planet so I took a mate and married her as a customary on this piece of dirt. Her name is Bulma. Her brat and I guess my brat's name is Trunks. I don't like the name really but the boy is a strong warrior so he's tolerable. She is expecting another brat. It's going to be a girl. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. What the hell am I going to do with a girl? But this is not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about last night. The 22 of December, around this damn earth holiday of Christmas. Kakorot and his loud-mouthed mate invited Bulma and I to come to their silly party. Goten and Trunks stayed at our house for something called a sleepover. The party wasn't to start until six, so around five we started getting ready.  
Bulma made me wear this ugly gray suit. I wasn't happy.  
"Woman, why the hell do I have to where this," I snapped.  
"Because you promised," she replied from inside the bathroom of our bedroom.  
"And why the hell did I do that again?" I asked her. She stepped out.  
"So I would wear this remember," she said happily. She was wearing a short, spaghetti strapped, blue dress. It had two slits up the side. It was my favorite dress of her maternity clothes. She is about six months along now but she still looks nice in a dress. She walked over and gave me a peck on the nose. I hate that too. It makes me feel like a dog.   
"Why are we going again? I hate your idiot friends," I growled trying to upset her.  
"I'm not getting into this with you right now, Vegeta. I already agreed to let you fly us even though its colder then hell outside. You're not winning anything more with your pouting," she said calmly as she finished checking herself in the mirror.   
"Maybe it you wore a little more material," I said trying to bring her into an argument. She frowned.  
"Would you like me to wear the gray dress?" she asked. I flinched. Her father bought her that dress. It looks like an army blanket and its covers all skin except her head.   
"Can we go now?" I asked impatiently. She smiled.  
"Trunks, we're leaving," she called down the hall.  
"Okay mom," said a faint voice not really interested. My mate shook her head.  
"That boy," she muttered, "Okay Vegeta lets go." I picked her up and we flew out the open window.  
  
We arrived at Kakorot's house just before six. Bulma kept trying to fix my tie but I gave her a death glare. She knocked on the door and waited.  
"Kakorot will be bragging about his son's progress. Even his offspring more faster then my children," I say irritated.  
"Our son is working very hard. Perhaps he would work harder if you gave him some encouragement," she countered. I smirked.  
:"Maybe he would work harder if he didn't have purple hair," I say with a snort. My mate started to laugh because she knew it was my attempt at humor. She had gotten pretty good at that. She laughed so hard she nearly slipped on a patch of ice. I caught her easily and found myself laughing at her clumsiness.   
Kakorot's mate answered the door. Her jaw dropped when he saw me holding onto Bulma tightly and the both of us laughing. I stopped my show of amusement on a dime and my mate rained hers in. The minute me stepped into that house all eyes were on us. Piccolo and Yamacha especially were glaring at me from where they sat on the couch. I glared back. Krillian and his girlfriend 18 were always nervous around me and it showed in their eyes from where they sat on the love seat. Kakorot was the only one who greeted both Bulma and I warmly. He gave Bulma a kiss on the cheek and welcomed me happily. Bulma felt the tension too and she used to take to scowling at everyone to make them stop staring but anymore she just talks through it. She really is pretty impressive, especially when she talks so casually while Kakorot's mate answers awkwardly.  
She pulled my arm and we sat down on the couch next to Yamacha and his bimbo of the month. All the other couples including the now seated Kakorot and his wife held onto each other close. Bulma and I sat as we always did with our bodies just touching so we could feel each other's warm and Bulma had one hand rest comfortably on my arm.   
"So its great to have peace around the holiday's," said Kakorot trying to start conversation as he handed out before dinner drinks. He almost handed one to Bulma but quickly took it away when he received a death glare from me. Bulma would have declined it, don't get me wrong but I like scaring Kakorot.   
"Yes, no thanks to some people," said Piccolo spitefully. I scowled at him but Bulma took the comment in stride. She is always the peacemaker despite her shot tempered nature.  
"Yes, I know Piccolo. But that was years ago. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself," she said coolly. I rained in the smile that threatened to escape my lips. The conversation stirred away from us after that, all it required was for Bulma to make some comments in passing about how she was feeling. Finally after about twenty minutes Kakorot's mate lead us into eat.   
Bulma and I sat next to each other. Kakorot sat at the head of the table, his mate at the bottom. Piccolo and Yamacha sat across from us. Krillian and 18 were across from one another at the other end. We said some silly human grace and then began eating. It was turkey, mashed potatoes, and all that crap. I ate politely but like a saiyan. Bulma ate like a bird. She never eats anything. I mean not that I care or anything but she is goddamn pregnant. But I guess with Kakorot and I already at the table that we couldn't really afford another heavy eater.   
Kakorot started talking about his sons. Gohan was apparently over with Videl having dinner out. And then we got to Goten and his progress while training. He really wanted me involved with the conversation. I gave him short gruff answers, the best I could manage. Apparently the idiots at the table thought I was being rude because they were frowning every time I looked up. So Bulma took my hand and began adding things about Trunks' progress in his study. My son is very smart. He gets it from his mother. He is much smarter than Kakorot's child is. This always irritated Kakorot's mate since in their house they stressed studying and in ours we stress fighting. Not because Bulma wants it that way but because I do, the comments she made were tactful though. This brought Kakorot's mate into the conversation and the fours of us were actually to the point where we were making what humans call "chit chat." Whatever the hell the point of that is.  
This conversation ended and the others at the table started their own. Yamacha's and his bimbo of the week's consisted of some sexual suggestions and a "no I love you more contest." Yamacha was trying to make Bulma jealous, I could tell. But it doesn't work anymore. She is mine now and that no account warrior will be dead where he stands if he so much looks crossed eye at her. Bulma wasn't eating much still and I was becoming annoyed. I took her hand and leaned over to whisper in her ear.  
"I love you woman, but if you don't start eating something. So help me I'll blast all your idiot friends," I said. She smiled at my determined smirk and giggled to herself. Everyone looked up and stared at us. Bulma gave them a disarming smile and started to dig into her plate. Satisfied that I had made my point I returned to eating.   
As to saying I love you, I hate it. I only have said it to the woman three times in my entire life. The first time I was serious and it slipped out in a fight we had, that was the night Trunks was conceived. If you people don't think I should be talking openly about sex then you are picking the wrong person's life to inspect. The second time was as a joke almost like last night. She doesn't seem to mind anymore though. Maybe she's used to me.   
  
We finished dinner and the next thing was gifts. All the adults were supposed to exchange their gifts for one another at this party so that Christmas could just be about the kids. If you ask me, on earth everyday is about the kids. Bulma had dropped off her presents at Kakorot's house earlier. I had the only gift I bought the one for her, in my pocket. It was a pretty considerate gift by human standards, if I do say so myself.   
Bulma and I were on the couch again together. She tiredly had laid her head down on my shoulder. Everyone watched this with curiosity. I don't what was so damn curious about my wife putting her head down on shoulder, but apparently stupid humans are interested by everything. I used to be stricter about displays of affection I admit it. But they looked like me as if I was going to blow the woman's head off. I noticed Bulma's hand was idly placed on her belly. She really is proud of the thing growing inside of her. Kakorot's mate passed out his or her gifts to everybody. Bulma got a gift certificate to her favorite store. I got socks. They smelled too. They are probably Kakorot's old socks. His mate really doesn't like me. The next step was for the couples and Piccolo to pass out all the gifts to the other couples. Then the couples themselves were supposed to exchange gifts. I got a sword called "The Killer's Tool" from Piccolo. It was his not so subtle hint to me. But I didn't really care. Krillian and 18 gave me chocolate. Apparently food was the only thing they knew wouldn't offend me. Krillian is so scared of me. Yamacha apparently forgot his gift at home. Bulma let out a very rude snort when she heard this. I laughed and so did Kakorot. Kakorot's mate on the other hand was not pleased and gave my mate a disapproving stare, to which my mate just smiled.   
The next part was the part I had been waiting for. The couples were supposed to exchange. And we were supposed to wait our turn so everyone could see. The point of this moronic procedure, I don't know. Kakorot got his mate a cookbook. She wasn't really pleased, and amused me by giving the idiot a "I'll get you later" look. I know those really well from living with Bulma. But I wouldn't be get one that night. Kakorot opened his present and found a new bottle of shampoo and a comb. Another one of his mate attempts to change the baboon she married. 18 and Krillian gave each other his and her mugs. Those assholes have no creativity. Yamacha gave his girl some piece of clothing that made her blush and she gave him a picture of her. Both of them are superficial jerks. Perhaps this relationship of Yamacha's will last. Not that I gave a rat's ass either way.  
It was our turn last. Bulma lifted her head off my shoulder and handed me a square package and quickly went back into her original position. She didn't like everybody looking at her. I could tell. Usually the woman loves the attention but this kind of attention was full of tension. I opened it to find a remote control to two hundred new and improved robots. I smiled a genuine smile for just a second. And with a slight frustrated blush creeping into my cheeks I placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. I reached in my pocket to find my gift, but Kakorot's mate started talking and cleaning up the paper. They actually thought I hadn't gotten my wife anything. I felt the anger and frustration I had been ringing in all night bubble up and I stood abruptly.   
"YOU BAKAS. You invite me to your ridiculous party and then you won't let me give my present to my own wife. What the hell kind of example of your silly Christmas spirit is that shit? I should blast you all to hell except it would put a damper on the woman's Christmas. Kami knows why!" I roared. Bulma stood up and took my hand pulling me back down on the couch. Everyone was frozen with his or her mouths open. Even Piccolo who wouldn't have been shocked if I killed a small child in front of him looked surprised. Bulma grinned nervously.  
"Huh, Vegeta says you forgot him," she said quietly. Everyone looked at one another and started laughing. I was at first I thought they were laughing at me so I started to power up but then I realized that they were laughing at the situation so I calmed myself. I handed the small present to Bulma who opened it carefully. She opened the little black box and put a hand on her chest. I had gotten her an engagement ring. I had never gotten her one when we got married. The woman herself hadn't complained about that she knew better then to push her luck. But one day I had heard Kakorot's mate telling her it wasn't a proper marriage because I hadn't. For some reason the sad look Bulma had after the conversation had bothered me so I decided to break down and get her one. Now I have a lot of memories in my life that I would care not too, but the look on her face when she saw it could never be one of them. It had a small diamond, a sapphire, which was my favorite color, and a ruby, which was her favorite stone. She happily took it from the box and slipped it on proudly. The other three women in the room swarmed on her fussing over it.  
"Oh Vegeta, Its so beautiful and surprising," said Kakorot's mate.  
"Yes, I don't know what it's for but I want more," said 18 sweetly.  
"Yamacha I want a ring like that," commented the bimbo. Bulma said nothing. She knew I wouldn't have liked her gushing over it. She kissed me passionately on the lips for just a few seconds and when she pulled away she said.  
"Thank you my prince."  
"Anything to make you stop whining," I said not completely able to hide the satisfaction in my voice.   
"Jesus, women, its just a ring. Especially when you consider the source," said Piccolo's harsh voice. The three women jumped back as if they had touched something hot. Kakorot shot Piccolo a dirty look. Bulma looked down and her eyes held disbelief. I could tell it was hard for her to see her friends acting like this. She absently held my arm tighter. I couldn't stay in that room any longer. Usually I liked scarring people, but not these people. I didn't like that it hurt Bulma.  
I shook her off and I excused myself leaving the room. Bulma tried to call after me but I didn't listen. I noticed that everyone else went back to casual conversation. I stood outside looking into the stars. I looked at where my planet would have been. No one would have disrespected me there. But, I would never have really known my mate. Here my queen was always at my side, making my life a little better despite her sometimes-annoying hen pecking. Earth wouldn't be so bad if we were the only ones here and I didn't have to deal with asshole humans. Bulma had come out to check on me. I didn't see her first, I felt her. She stood with her arms crossed. She shivered a little. A part of me wanted to send her back inside and call her moron will coming out here in the cold in her condition. But I couldn't some part of me wanted to know what she was going to say.  
She walked beside me and slid her arms around my waist pulling me to her.  
"Come back inside Vegeta, please. I really miss you. You promised you would never leave me alone again," she said softly. I remembered when I made that promise. It was right after I was brought back after the battle with Cell. I put my arm around her and pulled her close.  
"Go away woman. I'm not wanted in there. I will not be subjected to the stares of those freaking humans," I said more gently then I had wanted to. It was hard to yell at her when I was holding onto her. I don't really give a crap about her but she has a power when she's close.  
"I want you in there Vegeta. I need you by my side. I don't remember what it was like before you were," she said, "I love you." I whirled around taking hold of both her arms. I forced her as gently as I could to look into my eyes.  
"Why do you love me, Bulma. Why do you love me when everybody you've ever cared about thinks your crazy for it? I've seen how human society works you're dead and alone if you don't fit in. Why do you risk your position," I asked her sternly. A single tear slipped down her cheek.  
"I'm not alone though Vegeta. We don't have to fit in. And if they continue to act this way then I guess we'll have to turn away from some of them. But I have to give them a chance. Remember like when I gave you a chance. Please don't give up. Just give them some time. You're a prince surely you can be a bigger person then these baka humans," she replied. I looked at her and the power of her words sunk in. Kissing her cheek where the tear had feel I let her go.   
"I'll be in then Bulma. Just please go for now," I whispered. She sighed and did as I asked her.  
A few minutes later I felt someone again. It wasn't Bulma. It was Kakorot of all the damned people in the world. He came to my side and for a while he just stared up at the sky with me.  
"You know Vegeta," he finally said, "I'm sorry about the way things have been going tonight. Chi Chi just doesn't know what to make of you. I do know what you're feeling right now." I scoffed.  
"Yes, Kakorot the one everyone on the earth admires knows how I feel. A person who seen by all your little friends as a monster," I said bitterly.   
"It wasn't always like that," said Kakorot, "When I was a kid I used to worry that I wouldn't fit in with everybody else because I was different. Bulma used to tell me not to worry. She said that my loyalty, bravery, and kindness were my human credential. And as long as I had those things I would be a human as much as someone who was born here." I snorted this time.  
"You really think I have those things. You're just as dim witted as I always thought you were," I spat. He laughed.  
"No Vegeta you don't have those things. At least not showing in anyway shape or form. But you do have a human credential," he said.  
"What is that?" I asked. Kakorot smiled.  
"Bulma," he said, "You know despite the looks and the way everyone acted towards you this evening they have changed their opinions of you slightly. I know Chi Chi has, when she saw the two of you laughing on the porch together and the ring you bought her well she saw you in a whole new light. You may not be the social type but Bulma is. And everyone tonight has thought at one point while watching you two that if she can stand you, you must have some humanity somewhere. So she's your human credential and a pretty nice one might I add." I thought about what Kakorot had said. Maybe it was true. My son and my mate were the best things that ever belonged to me. They were the legacy of my newfound honor. Kakorot left me to my thought but dropped one more word.  
"Bulma really misses you inside," he said. I shook my head.  
"Tell the annoying woman I'll be in soon," I said.  
"Yamacha's girlfriend left and he's alone with Bulma," added Kakorot. I frowned and followed him inside.   
  
Bulma was sitting next to Yamacha on the couch. He was telling her how much his heart was breaking over his bimbo leaving. He kept notching closer and was hoping that Bulma would comfort him. But Bulma was staring off into space. I sat down next her and placed my arm around her waste. She smiled at me widely and with a yawn snuggled back into her original position. I gave Yamacha a "back off" look and he moved back away. The conversation continued with less tension this time. But it was obvious that in her condition my mate was not up for late nights. All her replies were groggy and Kakorot's mate finally instructed her to go home and go to bed.   
The two women embraced each other. Bulma tried to apologize for falling asleep but Kakorot's mate wouldn't allow it.  
"I have given birth to a few Saiyans myself," she said, "And I won't hear of you being sorry for being tired from carrying one. You take care of yourself sweetie and call me tomorrow and let me know how you're feeling." Bulma nodded.  
"Thank you Chi Chi I will. You've been really great these past few months," she replied. I watched as Kakorot also embraced her. I was beginning to realize with the exception of Piccolo and Yamacha why Bulma loved her friends so much. Maybe it wasn't that they thought I was a monster, perhaps they are just always overprotective. Krillian rose up and gave Bulma a hug.   
"You take care of yourself Bulma. We've been through too much to have you done in by a kid of Vegeta's," he said. Bulma nodded and kissed the top of his bald head.  
"Thank you Krillian you've always been a good friend," she said laughing at the midget's joke. Believe it or not I got that it was a joke. I don't know why everyone thinks I have not sense of humor.   
Finally we left and flew back to our home. Bulma had fallen asleep in my arms so I flew carefully so as not to wake her. I thought about Kakorot's words some more. Maybe he was right. Maybe one person can be your humanity. Not that I want to be a baka human, that sure as hell isn't the case. When we got home I lied her down in the bed and went to check on my boy. He and Kakorot's boy had fallen asleep downstairs on the couch playing video games. I decided not to move them and returned to my room. Bulma lied there asleep still in her party clothes. I pulled off her shoes and then my own. I crawled into bed next to her. I put my arms around her and happily felt the ki inside her stomach.   
She stirred and turned around to face me.   
"Are you feeling better now Vegeta," she asked me.  
"Yes," I said simply. She kissed me deeply and then went back to sleep still facing me. I thought she must be tired because she let me get away with such a simple answer. I figured since it was the trend of the house I might as well go to sleep too. I kissed her on the forehead and right before I fell asleep I whispered.  
"I love you," I was serious for only the second time in my life, "My Bulma, My queen, and my human credential.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
